thecompanionsdoctor:

I WAS IN MY SHOWER WHILE SPOTIFY WAS PLAYING AND AFTER LIKE 15 SECONDS OF SILENCE I HEAR THE AD GUY SCREAMING “HELLO THERE SPOTIFY LISTENER” AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE IN MY BATHROOM AND I NEARLY FELL OVER

Literally every message I get nowadays is, “…I am studying psychology. Also I like fashion A LOT,…” like seriously. No. Stop.

Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.

Things I’ll teach my children  (via whitenes-s)

captain-georgeuniverse:

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

That. Is. Amazing.